Ooh, ooh, what now, what now!

Last night I fell asleep on the couch, which I do sometimes on purpose, but this time I still had my hair in a tight ponytail and my contacts in and everything. Even this knee brace that I've been wearing was still on, and it can really irritate the skin if you leave it on too long. I finally woke up enough to check the time on my phone, and the cat was sleeping curled up against my chest.

So I have two questions. 1) What's a "rail-shooter"? and 2), should I go see Avatar? I don't really want to. When I see the trailers, I feel uninterested. I dunno you guys.

Well, I have been officially hired by Panera Bread Co.; I get my first paycheck in, like, three weeks. I am not feeling excited at the moment, but that could be because I feel like I am going to puke. (I'm a little bit sick.)

I have to go to a five-hour orientation thing tomorrow, in the morning.

Wanna know what happened yesterday? It was kind of weird. A few days ago, Ike had just finished this quarter of school, or whatever they measure high school in, and wanted to "do something" with me. "It's too bad we've already watched Pitch Black," he said. "What's another movie you're always bugging me to see?" "The Manchurian Candidate!" I said. I mean the 1963 original with Angela Lansbury, Frank Sinatra, and Laurence Harvey.

What, you've never seen Manchurian Candidate? Dude, that movie is the shit! Angela Lansbury! Murder She Wrote, Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast, the original Mrs. Lovett, so many more roles because she's been working as an actress for, like, 80 years ... Frank Sinatra. Frank fucking Sinatra! Laurence Harvey! ... who I've never seen in anything but Manchurian Candidate but he's really good! Janet Leigh!



But hey, before we go any further, let me tell you some not-so-cool things about this movie: it's a bit racist in its portrayal of Asians. I mean, it's got Henry Silva as a Korean guy, Chunjin. Henry Silva was Hispanic, I think ... anyway, not Asian, which is my point. Also it had Khigh Dhiegh as a psychologist named Yen Lo who is implied to be Chinese, though he works at the Pavlov Institute in Moscow and folds origami. Khigh Dhiegh? Is totally North African. His real name was Kenneth Dickerson.

You gotta remember this was made in 1962 when it was totally acceptable to put a little tape on a white guy's eyes and pretend it made him look Asian. Not that that is an excuse! Even if they were a little more authentic with the casting, the Asian characters (that is, characters originating from Asia, including caucasian Russians*) are all evil in this movie. I'm just gonna put that out there. But there is so many more awesome things about this movie that it makes up for it, in my opinion!

For example! This movie has Frank Sinatra in it! He does a good job with the acting! Also, it has the (more or less) first karate fight in a Hollywood movie! I bet you wouldn't have guessed that it would be between Henry Silva and Frank Sinatra, but it totally was. It was also one of the first Hollywood movies to cast a black dude in a non-racially identifiable role - in other words, in a role that hadn't been specifically written for a black actor. It's really weird, really funny, nail-bitingly suspenseful, and there's still great bits of it I haven't figured out yet.

So I watched it with Ike and he said it was like the Coen Brothers directed it. That was a few days ago. Yesterday, Ike had his last basketball game of the year, afterwards practically the entire high school came down to our house to hang out, for some reason. And Ike got to choose the entertainment, so he put on Manchurian Candidate. So all these sweaty teenagers sat on our couch and watched a classic black-and-white film satirizing McCarthyism, while my mom fed them cut up vegetables with dip, and chips and salsa and soda, and baked them chocolate-chip cookies which is really unusual for her, while Ike's friend Payton practically narrated the film because he's a big movie buff.

It was weird, like I said.

Oh, and they loved it.

I want to see the remake again now. I saw it once before, and I remembered that I liked it. But I can't really remember how it went. I am very tempted to order myself a copy from Amazon.com, where it is dirt cheap, but I'd remind you about how I won't get a paycheck for three weeks and I don't really need the 2004 remake of Manchurian Candidate with Meryl Streep, Liev Schreiber and Denzel Washington. I just really want it.

*I was gonna say "White Russians" but that's also a drink.

This is the first year in ages that I haven't been stressed at Christmas. I think it's because I'm not buying anyone any presents. It's not a lack-of-generosity thing, I swear. Last year I had $200 in the entire world and I spent $280 on gifts. I'm actually kind of a sucker for that kind of thing.

But this year, I sat down and really thought about it. I mean, who would I be buying gifts for anyway? My parents, for one. My eight siblings and one brother-in-law. And that's it, really. I never could afford to buy anything for friends or acquaintances shit like that. If you've only got a couple hundred and you've got eleven minimum people to buy for, you give a lot of hugs for Christmas, though I do feel guilty about it.

My sibs are getting presents from each other, anyway, and the parents, and their three sets of aunts and uncles on my dad's side, and my dad's aunt and uncle, and our second cousins once removed. Plus probably Cousin Steven. He's married now so I think he has to give gifts. I'm most concerned about them because they're the only children I regularly give gifts too, and I get how much Christmas means to a bunch of kids who don't get much allowance and aren't allowed to have a Nintendo or an Xbox or to watch TV or to listen to the radio around Dad or Ike or my Mom or to go to public school or to watch movies unless they sneak or to do anything cool at all or to join sports teams and whose clothes are all hand-me-downs that never fit right. Christmas is fucking awesome, is what I'm saying. But I don't think they'll really notice if I don't get them anything.

Secondly, I don't have a lot of money. Heck, I don't have any money.

So I'm not giving Christmas presents this year. And I feel so much more relaxed about everything. Not that any of y'all would have noticed. I may send out Christmas cards, so if you want one give me your address.

By the way, Christmas season doesn't end until January 5. And if I had my druthers we'd open presents on January 6th, on Epiphany. Makes more sense that way. What I'm saying is if you don't get a card until January 5th it's still not late.

Edit: Oh yeah, I've got a job interview tomorrow that looks kind of promising; but even if I get it, I probably won't have much of an opportunity to shop anyway. Which I would if we opened presents on Epiphany. Heck, I could take advantage of after-Christmas sales! Stupid advent calender.

Well, those damn warts haven't gone away, but when Clara saw that picture, she showed me the warts she's grown on her back. I don't feel like mine are significant anymore. Very ugly, Clairbear. Seriously. Where did she even pick up warts anyway? Kind of a mystery.



So I finally re-installed the operating system on this computer, which is not really a big chore or anything; I don't know why I hesitated to do it for so long, but you know, it's not my computer. I was just doing it as a favor, and also so I could use it again. I like it. It's a nice computer. Ever since, this is what the B-babies have been doing: playing Sims and making the ugliest facest possible. At least, that's what the boy does. The girl makes happy families with parents and cute babies with nice names, like Jennifer. The boy makes families of mutants and makes them all attracted to Vampires or something. Typical.

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I still haven't found a job, but I'm hopeful.